Send the Chopper
by The odd Italians
Summary: Doing projects together is a great way to strengthen a relationship, right? Maybe not, if IKEA is involved. Let's watch the world burn together this Valentine's Day.


They had heard from someone that doing a project together would strengthen their bond with one another. So with the GREATEST idea in the world the Swede dragged the poor Finnish man to the store of projects, IKEA. They searched for hours looking for something simple enough to be done. It would have taken far less time if Sweden didn't feel that he needed to sit on every single couch IKEA ever built. He was like a kid in a candy store; if he wasn't so… Swedish, maybe he'd even be giggling like one. Whenever Sweden found a couch he particularly liked, he wouldn't leave until Finland literally dragged him away. People would stop and stare at the couple as Sweden threw his own kind of "temper tantrum", which resulted in a scarier-than-normal face.

"Sweden, come on… Be reasonable," Finland chided lightly.

"...No."

"But Sweden!"

"This is a good couch…"

"Svi… We can't build a couch!"

"Why not?"

"Because...because… It's too complicated!"

Sweden's face changed to what was probably actually a glare instead of his normal face, but he let Finland drag him away for the 247th time that day.

"...Sweden?"

"Ja?"

"We've been here for hours. Don't you think we should go home and try again some other time?" Finland inquired. After the Swede responded with a noncommittal half-shrug, he looked around and realized that he had no idea which way the exit was. He tried to recall how they had gotten to where they were, but they had twisted, turned and backtracked so many times he nearly couldn't tell up from down. He started off in the direction he thought they had come from, but they only found their way deeper into the maze that was IKEA. Sweden, of course, knew how to navigate the maze (even without a GPS), but he didn't really want to leave, and thus he followed Finland without providing any help whatsoever.

Finland was trying not to pay too much attention to anything IKEA had to offer, since he really just wanted to find the exit, but eventually something he saw out of the corner of his eye made him do a double take. It was a doggie highchair, and anyone who knew Finland knew that he loved his dog, Hanatamago.

"S-Sweden! Look at that!" the Finn gasped. "Hana would love it!"

Had Sweden been anyone else, he would have grinned victoriously at this comment from his "wife". Being Sweden, however, he simply asked "You want it?" with an actual, genuine smile on his face. A small smile, admittedly, but a smile nonetheless.

"Yes! We've got to get it! It's the last one, see?!" Finland started bouncing excitedly. "Pleeeease, Svi?" He cared not at all that he was now acting like the kid at a candy store, begging for a cookie.

Sweden simply smiled and picked up the heavy box before heading off in the direction of the exit, saying, "This way, Fin."

After they paid, left, and went back to their house, Finland practically skipped around the house with excitement until Sweden took the box containing the parts to the high chair to his workshop in the garage. He then ripped off the tape and began pulling out all of the various parts and pieces necessary to build it, along with the instructions. These the Finnish man looked over carefully, saying, "Okay, this looks simple enough! I can do it!"

"Fin…?"

"No, no, I can do it!"

"Fin..."

"Okay, so, this piece goes here, and this piece goes here, and... Huh?"

"Start at step one…"

"I know that! Stop telling me what to do or I'll break up with you!" Finland scowled at the instruction manual. He didn't completely 100% understand everything, but he wasn't about to admit it to Sweden, who made it look so easy. He picked up a piece, trying to figure out what is was and where to put it, before turning to see that Sweden had already assembled half the HUNDSTOL chair.

"...Svi?"

"...Ja?"

"...What are you doing?"

"Putting this together…..why?"

"Can't I do this without help?!"

"...If you say so..."

"Great, so where is that screw?" Finland rummaged around in the materials.

"Fin?"

"No, I've got this! What did I just tell you?!"

"But Finland…"

"OH MY GOD IF I DON'T FIND THAT SCREW RIGHT NOW EVERYONE HERE IS GOING TO BE DEAD!"

"Here…" Sweden held up the screw Finland was looking for.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love you?"

* * *

A/N: _We did a thing XD_

**happy singles awareness day you little coconuts**

_Or Valentine's Day if you prefer~ So yes, our dear friend came up with this idea and we all decided it should be written, so I, themusicalcat, and xXSoul-dweller both wrote it with this person who I shall call… Our koala friend. MuddyBuddyPancakes, sadly, is not with us right now because she is visiting Canada, but if either of the other two would like to say anything…?_

**Yes, this all came** to be-... *TURNS BOLD BACK ON* **better uwu**

**anyway, this came to be through a meme I fou- bad tablet!- on the interwebs lD**

**A Finnish man and Swede walk into a store. The Swede sits on the couches and labels it "The Great IKEA". The Finnish man gets mad at his project and watches the world burn. **

_Review please, and we may add a part two! Also, cookies to anyone who catches the double meaning of the title!_


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